Po Po (1917 - 2010)

Not quite two years ago, I wrote a tribute to my grandfather, Gong Gong, when he passed away at the age of 93. I am saddened today to write another tribute, this time for my beloved grandmother, Po Po, who passed away on Sunday. I feel so incredibly fortunate that Ryan, Spencer, Tyler and I happened to be passing through Los Angeles this weekend and had a chance to eat lunch with her at her favorite dim sum restaurant two days before she died. The photo above is the last one ever taken of Po Po.

In Remembrance of Po Po (1917-2010)

Faith and strength. I’d be willing to bet that these would be the first two words that would come to mind if you asked anyone to describe my grandma Hung Chen Tao (or “Po Po” as her grandchildren called her) – it wouldn’t matter if you’d known her for just a few minutes or if you’d known her for her entire life.

To enter into Po Po’s life was to be prayed for by her. She was as old school as you could get, starting and ending every day on her knees by her bed. I always suspected that if anyone had a direct line to God it would be her, and felt blessed knowing that not a day in my life went by that my name was not lifted up in prayer by my grandmother.

It didn’t matter that Po Po had suffered significant tragedies in her own life, fleeing to Taiwan during the communist takeover of China and dealing with a failed cataract surgery that left her legally blind while raising four young children. During these difficult times, instead of becoming disillusioned with the world, she found faith and strength in God that resulted in deep compassion for others.

Her final act the night before she passed away was to write a check for a struggling seminary student – someone she had never met but had heard about that week. Po Po didn’t have a lot of money, and the check might not have seemed particularly large, but I hope that seminary student will understand the significance of the gift. I would want to convey to him what a treasure my Po Po was, a unique person of wonderful contradictions - a woman with cloudy eyes but a clear mind, a strong will but a warm heart, a social butterfly yet a prayer warrior.

With Po Po’s death, it feels like the end of an era – the passing of a giant. On one hand, this image seems odd: my grandmother was humble and never would have seen herself as a giant. On the other hand, it is incredibly appropriate, for she was very much a giant – a pillar of faith and strength – in our family and in her community.

My aunt fittingly noted that Po Po left us just as she had lived every day before. Engaged, active, faithful, generous. On Sunday morning, Palm Sunday, a day of Victory no less, she got up, prayed, and dressed to attend her church service with a special check tucked into her purse. While eating breakfast, she clutched her heart, took three breaths in my mom’s arms, and left to attend a far grander service in heaven.

* * * * *

I made a short film several years ago, documenting four generations of women in my family: Po Po, my mother, my sister, and my niece. More than anything I could write or say, this film conveys the spirit of the woman I have respected and loved for so many years and the legacy she leaves behind...

Morning in Montery Park

For the first leg of our 2-week spring vacation, we flew to Los Angeles, crashed at Eunice's mom's apartment, and then spent the morning living life-as-usual in Montery Park. This entailed playing in the park where Eunice's mom does tai chi and Chinese dance starting at 7am in the morning and hanging out with Eunice's grandma (Po Po) at her hair appointment.


Of course, there was lots of eating, eating, and more eating.


Topped off with even more eating at our favorite dim sum restaurant.

Sadly, two days after our visit, Po Po passed away. What a blessing to have just been with her, doing some of her favorite things. Eunice has written a tribute to her beloved Po Po here.

Concert in St. Louis

One of the highlights of our trip to St. Louis was a special concert put on by the Tangs. Valerie and Melody had just performed in their first public piano recital back in Dallas, which was organized by Jennifer for all of her piano students, so they were eager to do a repeat live performance for us.

Valerie, never one to be shy, announced that she would go first, performing "Mary Had a Little Lamb."

Melody, Jennifer's star pupil, went next, memorizing two songs, "Riding on a Mule" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

Not to be left out, Paxon, just two years old, showed us that he wasn't afraid to "perform" either.


A surprise to us all, Spencer asked to take a turn as well. He had been banging aimlessly on the piano all week before the Tangs arrived, so we were all amazed at Spencer's performance, clearly inspired by what he had just heard...


Jennifer wrapped up the concert in style, separating the pros from the amateurs...


The Tangs' influence on Spencer went beyond music to include theater. Melody, Valerie, and Paxon love putting on "shows" for their parents and friends. Spencer was fascinated by this concept and put together a few shows of his own:

Pre-Holidays in St. Louis

Eunice took Spencer on a trip to St. Louis to visit Po Po right before the holidays (she hinted that it might, just might, be her last in St. Louis!). It was a mini-reunion, with Jennifer and David's family coming up from Dallas and cousin George and Lindai's family driving out from Peoria.

Click here for the full slideshow....

Eunice and Spencer arrived a few days early to get in some quality time with Po Po. We had fun visiting a butterfly sanctuary, riding the merry-go-round at historic St. Louis Carousel, listening to Christmas music at Eunice's childhood church, eating lots of yummy home-made food, and of course, making a special trip to McDonald's for the a nostalgic McRib. :)

With the arrival of the Tangs and Lins, the relative quiet of the house exploded with six kids chasing each other around the house and putting on "shows." We also took them on some fun outings riding to the top of the St. Louis Arch and making two visits to the truly magical Magic House, one of Jennifer and Eunice's childhood favorites!

Try explaining the elevator ride up the arch to a bunch of nervous kids!


Best of all though was the quality time spent with old childhood friends and family. Thanks for hosting a very special Christmas, Po Po!

Click here for a slideshow with more photos.

Joyce Family Reunion in San Diego

This has definitely been the year of family reunions. The week of September 13th, we joined Ryan's step-mom, Nancy, for her family reunion in San Diego. We decided to drive instead of fly so we could stop in Los Angeles to introduce Tyler to Eunice's grandmother for the first time.

All of our travels were centered around the boys' sleep schedule. We did the first 3 hour leg during the boys' nap time, stopping in Coalinga where some friends recommended Harris Ranch as a kid-friendly place for a rest stop and some good food. We had no idea this oasis existed in the middle of nowhere, halfway between the Bay Area and Los Angeles! The boys had an awesome time burning off energy in the inner courtyard. Best of all, we had a fantastic meal, dining on some of the tastiest steaks we've ever had! We drove the remaining 3 hours to LA during the boys bedtime, arriving at Eunice's mom's apartment just before midnight.

The next morning, we spent some quality time with Great grandma Tao - and as an added bonus, Eunice's Uncle Ben was in town from Abu Dhabi! The agenda was predictable: food, food, and more food. We snacked on fruit, scallion pancakes, and black sesame dumplings at Eunice's grandma's place, and then left shortly thereafter for a tasty dim sum lunch. Tyler ate a ton, but got as much food on him as in him. We had to strip him down to his diaper to get him out of the restaurant. :)

Later that afternoon, we headed off again during the boys nap time, pulling into our Mission Beach house in San Diego just before dinner. By the end of the evening, multiple families had converged, including Nancy, the Barrons, the Joyces, the Leinbachs, and of course the matriarch of the family, Mimi.

Our days were filled with strolls along the boardwalk, cold dips in the ocean, sand castle building, bike/stroller rides out to the nearby playground, and naps. Nights included gorgeous sunsets, large-scale group dinners, cut-throat poker tournaments (with card shark Mimi winning every time!), and even midnight games of volleyball... Spencer and Tyler had an especially good time getting to know their second cousins, Owen, Pearson, and Colby.

Ryan's step-dad, Fran, managed to join us after work one afternoon, and Ryan's mom Susan and her partner Jim made it out another night.

We're so glad we were able to catch up with Fran, Susan, and Jim while in San Diego - it made this into the family reunion to top all family reunions!

After a great week, we sadly bid farewell to Mission Beach. We braved an early morning drive to LA with the boys awake for once, meeting up with our good friends Jon and Allison at Griffith Park where we got to catch up with one another while the boys were entertained by train rides and pony rides.

A fantastic brunch outdoors topped off our time with Jon and Allison. Then we did an exact repeat of our earlier trip south, but heading north this time, making it to Harris Ranch during the boys' afternoon nap, letting the boys run around the courtyard, eating yet another great steak dinner, and then tackling the final leg home during the boys' bedtime.

An epic journey to be sure, filled with good friends and family! Click here for the full slideshow.

Birthday Song for Po Po

Spencer took a moment during lunch at Sea World to wish Po Po a happy birthday... Wish you were here!!!

Tao Family Reunion at Lake Travis

This daunting post on Eunice's family reunion at Lake Travis in honor of her Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Daniel's 60th birthdays has single-handedly brought our blog to a stand-still. Cousins Karen and Erin went all-out in this celebration of their parents' birthdays, renting a 4-house compound walking distance from the lake, complete with professional chefs who cooked 3 gourmet meals for us a day and a photographer who documented the entire weekend. Now four months later (and 30+ blog posts behind), we have finally made our way through 1,575 photos (we're not joking!) in order to get this out. So here, for your viewing pleasure are four painstakingly selected collages and two videos to give you a small glimpse into our crazy family reunion at Lake Travis...

Given the sweltering heat, we spent as much time each day as possible in the lake. The water was pretty low, but that turned out to be perfect for the kids who spent hours playing in the shallow waters along the bank.

Mom arrives to find her boys happily romping, naked, in the lake.

Erin put together round-robin tournaments for pool, ping pong, and foosball. We were the reigning champion in foosball, fared pretty well in ping pong, and didn't even attempt to compete in pool!

Erin coaches Spencer in ping pong but concludes he needs to work on his stamina.

Eunice and Mimi put together Olympics-style games, diving the extended family members into two teams to compete in a piggy-back relay race, limbo, water balloon toss, and tug-of-war. Eunice's team was the decisive winner, though that might have had something to do with having Karen's husband, Alex (a professional basketball player), on our team. :) Go Fire Ants!!!

The most decadent aspect of the weekend was the professional chefs Karen and Erin brought in to cook our meals. Everything was made from scratch, even the bagels, which required the chefs to literally work around the clock. Spencer's favorite chef was Angela, whom he fell in love with when she made him a peanut butter jelly sandwich as a snack, and plated it beautifully before presenting it to him. Eunice is somewhat of a peanut butter sandwich connoisseur and can confirm that it was, indeed, the best PB&J she has ever had.

This was the first Tao family reunion with a significant number of children present. We had every age represented from 0 to 7 (Jake-newborn, Tyler-1, Paxon-2, Spencer-3, Valerie-4, Justin-5, Valerie-6, Joshua-7). Mimi is pregnant with her third child, so the extended Tao family continues to stay on track with one baby born each year. Between catching up with the cousins, watching the kids bond, and helping Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Daniel ring in their 60th year, it was a weekend to remember!

Click here for the full slideshow.

Spencer's Trip to San Antonio

As a precursor to the Tao Family Reunion at Lake Travis, Eunice took Spencer on a special trip to Sea World in San Antonio with Jennifer & David's family from Dallas and cousin Mimi & Steve's family from Virginia. Despite the fact that it was a sweltering 100+ degrees, Spencer had a fantastic time cooling off with ice cream, playing hide-and-go-seek in the air conditioned rental house, taking a cruise along the Riverwalk, exploring Sea World, watching Shamu do flips in the air, going on his first real roller coaster ride, splashing around in the water park, and hanging out with cousins Melody, Valerie, Paxon, Joshua, and Justin.

Traveling alone with Spencer was SO much easier than bringing the whole family. Spencer kept himself happily entertained on the flight with books and crayons.

Spencer had so much fun with cousins Melody, Valerie, Paxon, Joshua, and Justin. They spent a lot of time playing hide-and-go seek in the home we rented just a few miles from the Riverwalk.

Some roles never change. Jennifer was put in charge of the "kids' program" for the upcoming Tao Family Reunion in celebration of Uncle Bonnie and Uncle Daniel's 60th birthdays. She came prepared with a special birthday song for the kids to learn and perform, complete with hand gestures and musical instruments. Spencer wasn't too sure about this whole thing, but as Eunice experienced all too often as a child, Jennifer has a magical way of getting people to agree to participate in embarrassing public performances...

Click here for the full slideshow.

Po Po's Visit

Eunice's mom just came out for a visit. When it comes to outcomes, she doesn't mess around. A tally of her accomplishments during her 10-day stay with us:

• Took care of Tyler every day from 6am-8am
• Watched Spencer for 4 week days from 8am-5:30pm
• Single-handedly potty trained Spencer
• Helped Tyler take his first steps

• Taught Spencer his colors in Chinese
• Gave us 3 much-needed date nights (GSB reunion party, Cinco de Mayo at Milagro's, and Star Trek on IMAX at the Metreon!)
• Provided 3 home-cooked meals every day for 10 days straight
• Hosted 4 different dinner parties for us
• Stocked our refrigerator and freezer to keep us nourished until her next visit

Somehow, we managed to not take a single picture of Po Po on this visit (?!) but here is photo-evidence of her labor of love.

On this Mother's Day, we want to say a special thank you to Po Po. You are a blessing to us in so many ways!!!

Family Photos

Back in October, when Eunice's mom came back out to visit us, we arranged for a family photo shoot, in part to document this special time in our life with two boys under two, and in part to get some photos with Eunice's mom to thank her for her six weeks of invaluable help when Tyler was born.


Our friend Katie Prentiss took these great photos in Central Park. She worked her magic, somehow capturing what we love so much about our boys and each other.


Click here for a link to a slideshow of all the proofs.

You can check out Katie's other work on her website: katieprentissphotography.blogspot.com

David's Visit

We had a surprise visit from Eunice's brother-in-law, David, who came to the Bay Area to officiate a wedding. He was able to spend a few days with us, connecting with his two nephews.


Each morning, Spencer would wake up and say, "I want to see David," and then run across the house to our guest room. No wonder he has such affection for Uncle David who would read him countless books, push him in the swing, help him ride his bicycle, play all sorts of games, chase after garbage trucks with him, and make him laugh! Click here for a slideshow and videos of David's visit.

Birthday Message to Po Po

Spencer has been excited about Po Po's birthday for quite some time now. This morning when he woke up, I told him it was finally time to sing "Happy Birthday" to grandma. Click the play button below to hear Spencer's special message to Po Po.

Gong Gong (1915 - 2008)

I wanted to take up a little bit of space on our blog to pay tribute to my grandfather, Shou Chuan Tao, whom I've always known simply as "Gong Gong." He passed away this afternoon. He was 93 years old.

There are, of course, the facts of his life: Born in China on October 7, 1915. Met and married my grandmother. Raised four children. Worked as an accountant. Escaped to Taiwan during the communist take-over of the mainland. Immigrated to the U.S. upon retirement. Lived with my family in St. Louis for many years. Helped take care of me after school. Finally settled down in Los Angeles.

But those are just things he "did." What made Gong Gong special - and what I will always remember him for - was the force of his personality, which he had in abundance.

He was a man of impressive vocal range. The original source of the "Tao Loud Voice" (which several of his children and grandchildren have inherited), Gong Gong could be heard a block away belting out "Yi er san si! Er er san si! San er san si!" on our front porch during his morning tai chi routine. If he didn't want us to do something, he would wave his hands and bellow, "Lo! Lo! Lo! Lo!" (his attempt at pronouncing "No"). And whenever he got excited, he would shout, "Me ter me ter chang!" I still have no idea what that means, but I associate it with a big grin on his face. In contrast, in more recent years, when I would visit he would hold my hand, saying quietly, "Eu Eu lai la" (Eunice has come to visit), and we would sit next to each other in companionable silence for hours. This is an equally precious memory to me.

Gong Gong was a man of great dignity. Even in his later years when it was quite painful for him to move around, if he heard I was coming to visit, he would spend several hours putting on a suit and tie so he would look presentable for the photos he knew I would inevitably take. Of course, being "dignified" involved not showing his teeth in photos, so I had to devise crafty ways to catch him smiling after he thought the photo session was over. :)

He cared about my well-being. No visit would go by without Gong Gong telling me I wasn't wearing enough layers (even during an LA heat wave), that it was dangerous to drive at night, that I shouldn't talk to strangers, that I should eat more vegetables, that I should guard my wallet while traveling... Most of the time, I could only understand a few words of what he was saying because of his thick Hu Bei accent, but the fact that he cared about me was clear.

Gong Gong was a man of special talents. Despite being a traditional (i.e., non-cooking) Chinese man, he somehow knew how to make the best scallion pancakes I've ever tasted. He also had an incredible green thumb. Growing up , it always struck me as odd that such a loud, forceful man could find so much pleasure quietly watering and nurturing plants. I think he loved the daily discipline that gardening requires and took great joy in watching things grow. Even when he moved to an apartment and no longer had a yard, he filled his balcony with plants of all colors and sizes. Last but not least, he is the only person I ever met who could out-nap me. No surprise since I'm sure I inherited my impressive talent to nap anywhere, anytime from him. :)

What I appreciate the most about Gong Gong, however, is that he welcomed my husband with open arms, despite huge cultural barriers. The first time Ryan and I visited him as a couple, he studied an English script for days before our arrival so that he could shake Ryan's hand and say, "Hello. Sorry, my English is not very good. You are welcome in my home. Come sit." Gong Gong then put Ryan through several tests of strength, including one which involved Ryan trying to push him over. He even taught Ryan some of his favorite circulation exercises (tapping the top of his head with his fingertips and hitting his thighs with a balled up fist). And in the end, he honored Ryan by choosing a wonderful Chinese name for him: "Ni Rei En" (which means good fortune and blessings).

When I look back, it is clear that Gong Gong influenced the course of my life. He and my grandmother made it possible for me to have a safe, caring place to go home to after school every day, and I had countless opportunities to hear stories and lessons from his life back in China and Taiwan. It is no coincidence that I have spent the last eight years working at Experience Corps, a non-profit connecting older adults as tutors and mentors to children; and it is no coincidence that I have such a strong desire for my own children to know and love their grandparents.

In writing this blog, I looked back at the photos we have taken of Gong Gong over the last decade and put together a slide show of some of my favorites, including a video clip of Gong Gong holding Spencer at 8 months old. I hope these are images that Spencer and Tyler will treasure when they are old enough to listen to the many stories I have about their great-grandpa.

Gong Gong lived loud, and died loud - never afraid to speak his mind. I will always remember him as a spirited man of great strength and great love for his grandchildren.

Click here for the slide show and videos.

Po Po's Final Week

Eunice's mom, Terry, stayed with us for an epic six weeks to help out before and right after Tyler's birth. She played with Spencer for hours every day, took him to weekly gym classes, taught him a ton of Mandarin (including how to count from one to ten, various parts of the body, airplane, car, shoes, thank you, good bye...), helped us with potty training, held Tyler for countless hours so Eunice could rest, cooked every meal, and left our refrigerator and freezer fully stocked. Saying "thank you" doesn't even begin to convey how much we appreciated her time, energy, care, and love. Frankly, we don't know what we would have done without her.


Click here for a slideshow of photos and videos from Po Po's final week with us!

Lin Family Reunion in Napa

One week after Tyler was born, we decided to take him on his first big adventure: a weekend trip up to Napa on Memorial Day Weekend for a Lin Family reunion with Po Po, Jennifer, David, and their kids. We loaded up our trusty Xterra, now equipped with two car seats, and drove up to wine country. We rented a fantastic 3-bedroom house a block off of the Napa River and two blocks from downtown Napa.


Most of our time was spent relaxing out on the wrap-around porch and playing games with the kids on the front lawn. We also managed to trade babysitting duties so that Jennifer and David were able to attend a friend's wedding at the Silverado Country Club the first night, and we were able to go out on our first post-Tyler date night for dessert and wine the next day.


On our last morning in Napa, we ate a delicious breakfast at The General Store Market, just a few blocks from our house where we took this family photo. What a great trip to kick off Tyler's life, with the promise of many more adventures to come!

Click here for more photos from our Napa weekend.

Next American Idol

We all know that Po Po loves to sing. No surprise then that she would manage to corral her five grandkids into joining her in a rousing rendition of "Xiao Xiao Yin Huo Chong" ("Little Firefly"). Move over Family Von Trapp!


Click here for a video of Po Po's sing-along and let us know who you think is the most likely candidate for the next American Idol!

Tyler Meets Family

With so much family in the Bay Area, Tyler was able to meet many of his relatives within the first few days of his life.


Click here for more photos of Tyler with Po Po, Nani, Great Aunt Donna, Grandpa Nic, Uncle Adam, Aunt Rachel, Uncle David, Aunt Jennifer, Cousin Melody, Cousin Valerie, and Cousin Paxon!

Last Supper

We didn't know it, but this ended up being our "last supper" before Tyler was born! Jennifer and David had just arrived the day before (they're spending the summer in the Bay Area), and we'd made last minute plans to do dinner together on Thursday instead of Friday. Good thing-- Eunice's labor started 10 hours after this photo was taken!



Dinner was a preview of what life will be like with an extra tike (in this case 3) running around. Spencer was very excited to see his cousins, and loved running around the house and backyard holding their hands. Eunice's mom put together an amazing assortment of food, as usual. It sure will be nice having so much family around all summer.

Click here for more photos with the Tangs.

Easter in Dallas

We headed to Dallas for a special Easter with the Tangs (and Eunice's last plane trip before the arrival of baby #2 - doctor's orders!).


Highlights of our weekend included exploring the Dallas Arboretum in full spring bloom, watching Spencer tackle his cousins with big bear hugs, eating a fabulous brunch at Cafe Brazil, participating in the DTS Easter Egg Hunt, letting Spencer take a spin in various toy cars at the entrance of the dorm, playing soccer with Melody, attending the Tang's church for Easter service, and getting a glimpse into the crazy and full life of being parents of three kids!


It wasn't easy wrangling everybody into one spot for a photo op, but we managed to take a great family photo in front of some colorful tulips at the Arboretum. Thanks to the Tangs for being such fantastic hosts!

Click here for a slideshow.

Po Po's Solo Weekend with Spencer

Eunice's mom flew in to town on February 25th to spend some quality time with us. Her real purpose, however, was to make it possible for us to take off for our weekend Kibbutz LA Redux trip unencumbered by Spencer!


Spencer had a great time with Po Po eating yummy Chinese food, playing games, singing songs, reading books, taking walks around the neighborhood, pretending to drive the Xterra, and going to the park! Thanks for everything, mom - what a treat to spend a rare weekend away with friends, knowing that Spencer was in capable and loving hands back home.

Click here for a slideshow...